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Building a Family with a Known Donor: Eli & Sam Journey

Meet Eli and Sam, who are generously sharing their family-building journey with us. This is the fourth story in our series highlighting the beautiful experiences of families using known donors.

We’ve asked each family the same four questions, and their answers are shared here in their own words. We hope you find their stories insightful, and we’re always open to hearing your thoughts.

We’re continually moved by the love and determination of families in the Makeamom community. A big thank you to Eli for opening up about their journey!

How did you know it was time to start your family?

Both Sam and I have always dreamed of starting a family. This desire has been with us for as long as we can remember. As part of the LGBTQ community, we were aware of the challenges and expenses involved, which made this an emotional topic for us.

However, we felt a strong calling to share our love with a little one, perhaps even two. After getting married and achieving some significant milestones like my dream career and moving into our own home, we knew the time had come for the next thrilling chapter in our lives: expanding our family. We’re even considering trying for a second addition with Makeamom before the year ends!

How did you find your donor? Was it a lengthy process?

We opted to use a website to begin our donor search. We sifted through what felt like thousands of profiles, essays, and pictures in search of the perfect match for our family. Our approach was a bit different from the norm. We wanted our donor to be actively involved in our child’s life. Our greatest fear was facing tough questions from our child about their origin as they grew older.

We knew those questions would come, but we also knew we wanted to provide more than just a donor number from a bank as an answer. After a few months of searching, we came across Myle. He seemed too good to be true.

Over the next year, we FaceTimed, chatted, and learned as much as we could about him. He even paid us a visit! Jay was completely on board with being a small part of Baby “B’s” life while entrusting us to make all the important decisions. We just knew he was the one!

Addressing the topic of a contract

The legal aspect of our situation was surprisingly straightforward. In our state, signing the birth certificate is considered a legally binding document. We didn’t require any additional legal paperwork. Jay was fully supportive of granting us 100% of the rights to Baby “B,” and even two years later, he continues to visit us whenever he can and regularly FaceTimes.

Did you engage the services of a lawyer?

We reached out to a lawyer to confirm if there were any other documents needed to secure our rights, and he reassured us about the birth certificate.

*Please be aware that any references made here are based on personal experiences and do not constitute legal or medical advice. For more comprehensive information, refer to this article and checklist provided by Family Equality. It’s essential to discuss your donor’s physical and mental health, as well as STD testing.


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