In our new series shining a light on family building with a known donor, we bring you the firsthand account of Harper and Emily’s inspiring story. Each family in this series shares their experiences through unfiltered voices and messages, offering valuable insights into their unique journeys. We hope this series proves insightful, and as always, your feedback is cherished.
Embarking on Parenthood: Harper and Emily’s Decision
Harper: From an early age, the desire to have children was ingrained in me. Despite knowing others who became parents at 17, I envisioned a different path. With a five-year plan that included finding the right life partner, I was open to unconventional means, even considering purchasing sperm.
Fate led me to Emily during DC Black Pride, and the connection grew. She, with her large, blended family background, became the ideal person to build a family with. Emily, having grown up with her biological and adoptive families, boasts a total of nine siblings. Little did I know, this Cancer sign would be my perfect match.
Emily: My journey paralleled Harper’s; I too knew early on that I wanted to be a mother. Without a strict timeline, I aimed to finish school, settle down, and start a family. As the oldest among my siblings, the motherly instinct always lingered. Harper’s ambitious five-year plan seemed unrealistic initially, but life had its own surprises. Two years after our meeting, we got engaged, married in 2018, and five years later, we’re expecting our first child.
Discovering Our Donor: A Year-Long Quest
The quest for our donor spanned a year. Initially considering Emily’s brother, the distance posed a logistical challenge. Turning to an app called Just A Baby, reminiscent of a dating app, we created a joint profile, introducing ourselves and stating our purpose. The platform facilitated finding a local donor, making the process convenient and timely, aligning with my ovulation window.
Navigating the Donor Agreement: Tackling the Awkwardness
Addressing the donor agreement was a delicate matter. We ensured it was discussed early on, avoiding any surprises later. Some potential donors even received the agreement for review before progressing further. Although meeting a stranger who might be the donor of our child was initially awkward, conversations allowed us to build comfort over time.
Legal Formalities: Notarizing the Donor Agreement
Surprisingly, we did not involve a lawyer in drafting the donor agreement. Instead, we all signed the agreement in the presence of a notary, ensuring its legality and formality.
We extend our gratitude to Harper and Emily for generously sharing their unique journey. Stay tuned for more stories of resilience, love, and family building in our ongoing series.