In this installment of our series on family building with a known donor, Ava and her family share their unique experiences. Each family in our series answers the same four questions, giving you unfiltered insights. We hope you find their story both relatable and enlightening. As always, your feedback is appreciated.
We extend our sincere thanks to Ava and her family for opening up and sharing their journey!
Embarking on Parenthood: The Missing Piece
Living with my sister and niece for a year and a half created a vibrant atmosphere. However, when they moved out to another state after her boyfriend’s deployment, our home felt incomplete.
The quietness echoed, and the absence of little knocks and familiar greetings left a void. The idea of having our own little one stuck with us, creating a forever bond, emerged during conversations between my wife and me. Once we decided, we were all in, ready to grow our family.
Finding the Right Donor: A Journey of Choices
Deciding on a known donor meant considering people we knew but had no deep connections with. We thought of individuals we encountered at work, focusing on someone who resembled me.
The first potential donor, though flattered, couldn’t proceed due to his partner’s reservations. Undeterred, we approached a second candidate, who, unfortunately, faced scheduling challenges. After parting ways, the third time proved to be the charm. Our chosen donor turned out to be an angel, genuinely eager to be part of our journey.
Building the confidence to approach a potential donor was challenging for me. To ease the process, I recommend jotting down your questions beforehand, ensuring clarity and avoiding discomfort.
Navigating the Contract Discussion: Smooth Sailing
Introducing the concept of a contract to our donor surprisingly turned out to be the easiest part for all parties involved. My wife and I drafted a contract, reviewed it with the donor, and welcomed any input or questions.
The contract aimed to protect everyone involved, clarifying aspects such as post-pregnancy communication and anonymity. Our donor’s request for occasional baby pictures prompted an honest discussion, and we made our stance clear in the contract — no post-agreement contact.
Legal Support: A Necessary Step
Engaging a lawyer was crucial for our donor agreement. Unfamiliar with the legal process, I began by searching for contract lawyers. After contacting a few, we found one who assured us that our contract didn’t necessarily need legal representation to be legally valid.
However, we proceeded with the lawyer’s services for peace of mind, costing us $3,500. While we may not hire a lawyer for future endeavors, the initial concern about potential parental rights battles motivated our decision.
Ava and her family’s journey exemplifies resilience and determination, proving that each path to parenthood is uniquely beautiful. We share their story with the hope that it provides insights and support for others on a similar journey.